To My Dearest Daughters,: 2015

homecoming

I'm gonna keep this short. I hope in the grand scheme of things, you remember these small happy moments, instead of all the not so happy ones. I hope that although I can not fill the void that you may have had these past 3 months, that I have been enough. I hope that I have hugged you, kissed you, and loved you enough for the both of us.

goals for 2016

The beginning of another year is almost upon us. I'd like to take a minute to see everything we've done this year, and hopefully what we'll do in the upcoming one.

What we did in 2015:

Construction on the new house was up and running
Ellie turned ONE and started walking!
Belly turned 7
Belly went to her first baseball game
We took our first real road-trip (and we survived to tell the tale)
We became Potterheads :)
Dad left

What I hope we can accomplish in 2016:

Have dad back home (hopefully without him leaving again)
Go on vacation (a REAL one)
Make Chief!
Move in to the new house
Get Ellie into school (yay!)
Take more time off/spend more time together
Volunteer more

words (from dad)

Sorry, kids. This was overdue, and I should have done more e-mails or blogs over the last few months.

My beautiful Baby Bella,

It's kind of ironic I start with the word "sorry," I sometimes feel like I am always apologizing to you for something; whether it's missing a field trip, not being able to pick you up from school, or other things that come up, but this time it's a bigger deal.

This time I am apologizing to you for missing Christmas. It's even hard to type that. Bella, your mom has told you that I am a military man; well, I am. You are young now and might not realize certain things in life, but you are so smart (smarter than me, for sure) and you will. One thing is SACRIFICE. Bella, as sad as you are for me not being there with you, I am even sadder. I woke up this morning thinking about this: this is the first Christmas I will miss with you since you were born! The last time I was away for the holidays you and mom came to visit me in Virginia for Christmas, which was cool.

I mention sacrifice, because your dad does not know many things...the NAVY is one that I do know, and I would like to think I am good at it. Whenever I leave to go work for the Navy, those decisions are not easy for me and your MOM. I think the decisions I make are the right ones and are at the end of the day to benefit you and your sister. One of my biggest fears is that I am wrong on this matter, and you will never forgive me for this. I do this so that you have a better life, so that you have some the better things in life that I did not have. Don't get me wrong, I too, was blessed with my parents and had everything I needed, but I want more for you and your sister. So the sacrifice piece is sometimes I have to be away.

I wont promise you this is the last time I will leave, because I am not prepared to start breaking promises to you. What I will promise is that you, your mom and Ellie are always my priority in any decisions. This is another reason why you should love your mom a little more, kiss her more, and hug her more... without her, WE can't do this. She holds us together and is my best adviser on all things...( one day you will read between the lines kid, lol).

So from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry I am not there, but I will be there for New Year's, and we can have a special celebration!

My Ellie,

What can I say, my little sunshine. You are still too young to know what's going, but I know that everything I just told Bella will apply to you in time. The good thing for you is I am getting closer to the end of my NAVY career, so you may not see too much action. This is why you need to respect and listen to your big sister; she has been here a little longer than you!

Girls, I love you both so much! Everyday you make me a better man .

Love,

Dad

christmas 2015

We love you. Forever.

dear santa

I'm not sure how much longer you'll believe in Santa, but for now I'm enjoying this time of innocence. I hope you are always this selfless and caring, baby. I love you.

Also.... I find this HILARIOUS!

field trip

This is usually right up your dad's alley (going to field trips with you), but since he's not here, it's my turn to go! You'd been talking about going to this field trip for a couple of weeks, so I had to try and make it to this one. I showed up to your class a little bit early, just so see your classroom and help out. I looked at the "Career Wall" and saw this:

So if you end up being my boss one day, just remember who went with you to the theater and be nice to your old mom! :)

We headed to the park to play for a little while and to have lunch there. It was so great to see you interacting with your friends. A bunch of 7 year olds can be a riot. Everyone was so nice to me and had nothing but nice things to say about you.

You're not the most adventurous kid, and you definitely do not like being outside of your comfort zone, so you were scared to get on the "big slides". You were SO scared to climb on this thing and kept saying you were gonna fall (look how scared you are on the left), you jumped off the first step about 3 times. But, we tried and tried and on the 4th time you got all the way up. It was only about 6 or 7 steps up, and to some that may not seem like alot....but it's a start and proof that fear is all in your head, kid. If you can climb this thing, you can do anything.

We played soccer for a bit with your friends, well y'all played; no one really wanted to kick the ball to "Isabella's mom"

We went to the theater, and after going to Peter Pan and enjoying it so much, I was sure that you were gonna be really pumped for this one. We saw "Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile" at the Main Street Theater.

Who says we don't have snow in Texas?

It was a really cute show, and my favorite part was looking over and seeing this:

I can't promise you that I'll make every single school even that you have, I know I won't. But know that moments like this I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. Love you, kid.

dear future you,

So I saw this online and I thought so many of these were so true and things I want you to remember. I added a few of my own that I've learned through the years.

50 Things to Tell My Daughter

Do not buy cheap makeup. Buy a few QUALITY items, that's all you'll ever need.
Your push up bra is obvious.
Chill with the eyeliner.
If he cheats on you, say goodbye.
Your personal life is not an open book. Keep some things to yourself.
Don't tell me you hate me; you will regret it.
Innocence is beautiful.
Call your grandma just because.
Some people will never like you; don't let it bother you.
Kill them with kindness.
You were beautiful BEFORE he told you.
Don't believe stereotypes. Get to know people personally instead of judging them.
Don't let one mistake define you.
(But) learn from your mistakes.
Eat home-cooked meals. You will miss it one day.
I can spot a fake friend before you can.
Your dad can spot a crappy boy before you can.
Enjoy your metabolism while it lasts.
There is more to life than Friday night.
If we (or anyone else) buys you something, say "Thank you."
You are more beautiful than you will ever know.
Prom is not the "best night of your life", but go anyways.
High school years are not the best years of your life.
However, enjoy high school while it lasts, you will miss some of it.
Read.
Read the instruction manual beforehand.
Learn how to change a flat tire.
Apply sunscreen. Seriously. All the time.
Bad times make you appreciate the good times.
Stop comparing yourself to others; that will never do any good.
Learn to forgive; also, learn that not everyone deserves your trust.
Learn to apologize, and mean it.
Stop pretending to be someone you are not to impress people.
Eat the dang doughnut.
Pray for your future husband every once in a while.
Pray for your future kids, too.
Hug your grandpa every chance you get.
Tell your favorite teacher how much they mean to you.
Nothing good happens after midnight.
Put others before yourself.
Unless that person is an ex. You deserve happiness, stop worrying about him.
His plan is greater than yours (Romans 8:28)
Do not buy cheap shoes. You can't get anything done when your feet hurt.
Don't speed, especially on turns. Also, stop at stop signs.
Smile and make eye contact.
Be humble, no one likes a show-off.
If you're about to do something and say, "What are my parents gonna think?" don't.
We've already done it, and we'll eventually find out.
Always keep cash on you, you never know when you're gonna need it.
If you ever need to talk, just say the words and we'll drop everything to hear you out.
As soon as you have kids of your own, you'll get it.

2015 christmas card

You know babies, I REALLY hope that these get easier as the years go! I swear, this was by far the hardest pictures I've ever had to take of you two. Ellie, my precious Ellie.......STAY STILL! These cards are mostly for family, everyone loves to see how fast you're growing. I also LOVE seeing how much you change from one year to the next. We didn't start sending holiday pictures until you were 4 Belly. This year you helped me pick out and style your outfits, and I must say; you did a great job. You two are adorable! We went to Old Town Spring and walked around the holiday fest before taking these. I think that's part of the reason we couldn't get you to focus Ellie. Nevertheless, they came out really good.

This was at Discovery Green. Ellie, you weren't walking then and this is the only good pic I got of you before you crawled away and those socks ended up green. I TRIED to get you two to take pictures together, obviously that didn't work.

Ahhh...I think these were my favorite! I rarely get in front of the camera, but we had to commemorate that you were on the way baby. These doubled as our maternity pics. How happy do we look that you were almost here?

sass

So I'm showing you these as proof that you are a sassy little thing. I think you'll always be this sassy, and this will be proof that you were this way from the very beginning.

I'm amazed at how many words you're saying. Mostly it's gibberish, but alot of the time they're actual words. Right now, you mostly speak English. Your Tia Gloria talks Spanish, as well as your grandmas, so it's easier for us to just use Spanish around you. You'll pick up English soon enough. Imagine my surprise when I hear you speaking English. Right now, your favorite word is "Why", closely followed by "Hello and Bye".

And just because I thought this was hilarious:

You wanted me to take your picture, and you thought I was; I guess you were over it pretty fast. Look at that sass, rolling those eyes at me!

You run me absolutely ragged and you drive me crazy, but I love you something fierce, kid.

thanksgiving 2015

Today was your annual Thanksgiving school lunch. I worked half a day to meet you at your school and have lunch together, as soon as you saw me, you were so excited to see me you almost started crying. Your class made these turkeys that said what you were thankful for.

Your dad and I agreed that we'd surprise you by FaceTiming him during lunch. I called him up and told her someone wanted to have lunch with her. When you asked who, this is what happened:

This is by no means how we'd prefer to spend this holiday season, but we're making it work. We're halfway there! After lunch as I was walking you back to your class, you started to cry. You said you missed daddy and that you didn't think you could do this anymore. You gutted me, kid! It's such a lose-lose situation you know? When you don't talk to your dad you get sad because you miss him; when you get to FaceTime him you also end up crying because you miss him. I try to incorporate him into our every day routine because I don't want either of you to miss anything, but moments like this make me feel like I might not be doing the right thing. Who knows what the right thing is, though? We talked it out and by the time you went into your classroom you were fine.

These days everyone has an opinion about everything. A big thing for us was whether or not to get you an iPad. You're too young, and sometimes you tend to become a bit "obsessed" with it. We try and limit your usage, and sometimes I can somewhat regret getting it for you, then I see things like this and I think maybe we didn't make the wrong decision. When you were younger, it was so hard for you because you would go days without talking to your Dad. You'd get really really emotional, but I think the fact that you have been able to keep in touch with him this time has made it much easier.

A few days later, it was time for the big day. You're always such a great helper with anything I ask you for. Here we are making mini pumpkin pies:

"Talking" to Daddy

Notice that your new favorite word to say is "Why?" That's your new answer for everything. I'm not quite sure where you got it from, or how I feel about it. But, it sure is cute! (I'll never openly admit that, though).

I am very Thankful for my little family. I love you. Always.

lasts

Every once in a while, something will happen and it just hits you, "This is the last time that (insert whatever last will happen)." We were walking around the lot today, and I needed to get some things done; none of which I could do because you wouldn't go more than 2 feet away from me. I started to get frustrated because I needed to take care of these thing so we could get home, and you just wanted me to hold you the entire time. I kept putting you down, and time and time again, you'd give me your arms to pick you up. Then it hit me, this is the last time that I will get these little moments, the last time I will be at the center of your world. I know I'm being dramatic, but at the heart of it is a realization that you are my baby. Every time that you have a new "first", that will also me by last. This makes me both very happy and sad. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you, kiddo.

I picked you up, and for the rest of the day I didn't let you go. I will hold you as long as I can, even long after you ask me to put you down.

thirty one

There, I said it. 31 great, long, hard, beautiful years. Last year when I turned 30, I cannot tell you how scared I was. I felt like I was losing a part of my youth and that I'd suddenly have to become an "adult". My 20's were over, and I was very afraid.

As it turns out, I had nothing to be afraid of. I didn't need to run out and buy a minivan, and I was still "me". One year into my 30's, and I can honestly say, these really are the best years of my life. I am truly blessed to have this life. 31 isn't so bad, in fact; it's great!

I have you two, and that fact alone proves to me that I have a wonderful life. You two are truly my world. You're the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about at night. It may sound like alot, but believe me, when you have your own child you'll undertand the magnitude and depth of my love for you.

I have your dad, and even though it hasn't really been easy, I can honestly say that there is no other person that I'd rather have as the father of my children. He is an amazing dad, and you two are lucky to have him in your corner.

For my 30th, Dad took me to Boston. How awesome is that??

I have a loving and supporting family who steps in to help me out whenever I need them, even when I don't realize I need them. Both of your grandmothers are the types of mothers and grandmothers that I one day aspire to be. Those are some really big shoes, and I hope I can fill them.

I have the most incredible friends, the type of friends that I pray you find. These ladies are just as excited as I am to see you grow up, the kind that I can share anecdotes of some crazy thing you did or said and are genuinely invested in your lives. These women will step in and lend a helping hand with you in a heartbeat.

I am very fortunate to have this life, and believe me, I don't take it for granted not even for a second. I have everything I could ever want, and you're at the very core of it.

Thank you for being all mine.

(no) rainy day blues

This weekend was crummy. It's been raining nonstop. You're sick, so we've been stuck in the house. So, what is there left to do? Have a makeover session, OF COURSE! Not just any makeover, a Dia de los Muertos makeover. Thank you Belly, for always being up for whatever crazy idea gets stuck in my head. You were totally into it, and I LOVE it! This looks NOTHING like you baby! We had soooo much trouble taking this off, but wasn't it worth it!?

halloween 2015

How cute are you guys!?!?! I don't see how we're gonna top these costumes, EVER!

We took these a few weeks ago, you just never know with Houston weather! You were actually both sick on Halloween, but you didn't want to miss trick-or-treating, so we hit up a few houses. I think we were out maybe an hour, tops. That didn't stop us from having fun though!

This was you guys last year. Bella, of course, you were Elsa. I think you were OBSESSED for 2 years with Frozen. Ellie, you were the cutest Olaf ever!

And for old time's sake these are all your past Halloweeens, Belly

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50 Things to Tell My Daughter